Meaning in communication

Think now about a conversation with a person you deal with often, who seems to make no sense or even nonsense! Or, someone you regularly talk to but just don’t get what he or she is about. It is natural that you get along best with those you easily connect with, that the conversation flows and that all is well with the world and you can get on with things. Ah… what bliss!

Even if you are a mostly clear communicator, what are you missing? You may say… not much! However, how “much” difference would some clarity make to everyday conditions, smooth flowing projects and effective teamwork? In fact clearer communication may even net some new ideas!

The meaning of your communication can be measured by the response

If you can’t understand the other person, I wonder if they are understanding you. You notice I use the question, “are they understanding?” because conversation and communication is an ongoing process of relating. Meaning builds from perception of each interaction over time. It is said, “perception is reality”. How are you being perceived?

As a regular reader you know by now that my focus is all about new perspectives to help you think and grow wise, truly emotionally resilient. This in turn allows you to achieve better results both for work and personal well-being.

Adjusting your results requires an adjustment in your behaviour. To affect this, you must first feel motivated to do so, then adjust your thinking, taking time to stop, consider, and be proactive in your approach.

Try this…

Remember an interaction you have had with a specific person from which you walked away with some confusion and annoyance.

Think about it… if this happens each time you converse, consider the fall-out that situation causes you in reducing your productivity and results. If you believe you can benefit from a different perspective, consider using the following.

Strategies to help you begin to relate and find real meaning:

In conversation…The answer to the first question you ask is merely a keyhole to the real meaning of the response.This may provide insufficient information for you to intelligently respond with your opinion.

When someone gives a response to your question that seems to lack sense, instead of giving more information, imagine being curious! Since answers to direct questions tend to leave little time for considered thought, responses can often be trite. The meaning you perceive from the response is merely based on your own thinking rather than the intended meaning.

When communication falters emotions can surface. At this point emotion is not useful, so if you feel it coming on put it aside and respectfully ask more questions with an intention to see from that person’s perspective. This helps you to think rationally, shows respect to the other person and results in providing you with powerful insight into how to clarify your information to bring them onside.

Quality questioning improves the clarity of the information within the answer.
Imagine if you attended a meeting having put sufficient thought into the questions to ask rather than the information you want to give! Most often people diligently prepare information and presentations to a high standard and in my experience invest little time in preparing to question.

This is crazy! You know your stuff and your job is to ensure others understand it. How can you possibly get your message across effectively if you are only considering the delivery of the message? It is all one way. Think about the other person, what you know and more importantly, what you don’t know about them and the situation… then prepare!

Understanding is critical, agreement is optional.
What a drab world it would be if we all agreed. However, if you take time to understand another’s point of view you can move emotion aside and forge respect. From this perspective you can learn more about how they operate, how you can converse and work with them and you may even learn something new to grow your knowledge. Linking back to questioning, try going deeper with questions to clarify the answers you get. Questions like… I want to understand your thinking, can you tell me more about…

Business flows beautifully from people relating well, so remember how brilliant you are and that others see and feel your brilliance only when you connect with clarity and meaning. Enjoy a month of living a considered perspective on meaning and bring your communication into clear focus.

Thanks to Noelene Dawes from Emotional rislience for this article http://www.emotionalresilience.com.au/