Clashing with colleagues – how to smooth over the bumps

I was preparing for my Monday afternoon radio interview this week and thinking about work place friendships.  I have been working for 15 years now and in that time have made some great friends and also had a few ‘run ins’ too! 

In the early stage of our careers I think we all like to be liked and do our best to fit in to the culture that we work in.  However, as we mature, and as our career develops we become more influential and certainly more aware of who we do and do not get on with.

People clash.  Personalities clash.  So what can you do about it?

On my career journey I have been on many different courses whether they were management courses or personal development days the first thing I learnt was more about myself.  Remember those personality profiles you complete, the negative framed questions and questions that seem to ask the same thing over and over?  At the end when you read what type of person you are and (reluctantly) say ‘gee, that’s got me worked out!’.

So to start learning about how to work with others better you need to first take a look at yourself.  If you research DISC profiling you can place your work personality  into one of 4 boxes. 

You can then look around you and start to find out more about what type of personality your colleagues are.  Particularly that guy in accounts that you just never seem to be able to communicate with, without them getting defensive.*

So I was amazed that I could change the dynamic of the relationships I had by identifying more about them.

Whilst I am considered to be an Influencer, I found it hard to get along with the Dominant category.  So by changing my approach, thinking more about how they might like to interact I started to make progress in changing the dynamic of our relationship.  They became a project for me, without knowing it! 

It took a few months but I managed to smooth over the bumps.  When asked in subsequent job interviews about communication challenges or issues this was a great example to use and in turn demonstrated my ability to reflect on myself as well as others.

…and guess what..my personality clash – well we will never be best buddies but at work at least we still get along!

*example has been changed to protect identity!!